Being on social media as an artist feels like being in a panopticon. The artist is coerced into self-regulating, into putting out a consistent stream of art that ought to be tailored to appeal to the audience it *might* reach if they want to keep engagement up- because the only currency worth a dime in modern social media is the validation from being percieved at all, and that validation is extremely conditional- it's not even a matter of the viewer liking what you post- the work of the artist is often hidden and censored by automated moderation and algorithims designed to keep the user as addicted to the platform as possible, drawing focus away and devaluing art as "content". It's a numbers game. It's superficial, it's addictive, it deprives art of its meaning and the artist of their freedom. You are conditioned by the numbers, the algorithim, the design of social media, to make yourself as paletable to your audience as you can- even if they don't care about you or your work, even if you don't know whether they are still watching you or not. It's all about persistance, hope, dopamine, it's gambling.

There's very little appeal to the "social" aspect of social media - I never felt the incentive to interact with others personally in those platforms. That interaction is also inherently dehumanized by the design of social media - there are no spaces for earnest discussion. It breeds toxicity, echo chambers, parasociality, and a hostile online culture that is constantly at war with one another. Arguments will happen and toxic people will exist in all spaces, but the way the algorithms are often structured will only drive people towards the negativity and discourse because it drives engagement. It's not a new concept, but it's normalization has generated an environment were being objectively rude is rewarded. "all attention is good attention" they say lol. I can't speak too much of it- the problem is much more generalized now than it is when i quit posting in 2023. Or maybe it's not and ive always been an outsider. Either way i don't believe there is anything to be gained from engaging with it.

I had been posting on Instagram for 3 years when i realized I was tired of making "pretty" art, of pursuing an aesthetic or brand image, of making art for the objective of posting it. I missed being able to sit down and draw whatever- Now, I felt I had to prove my value as an artist whenever i sat down to make something. It's an hostile position to be in, being an artist on social media. It still took me a year to fully wean myself off of posting. But in 2022 i removed all of my followers, changed my username from Voidpain to Goofysillygoober (a symbolic act of defiance, obviously), and began a hollistic approach to posting where i posted **everything** i drew lol.
I tried also to reignite the social aspect of social media- to interact more with others, to be more personable... i think i just ended up coming off as extremely odd to most lol. Social media customs have changed as to where i geniuenly feel the social aspect has been lost entirely. It's about projecting an image of yourself and having it be seen. I found it impossible to make new acquaintances on instagram, and very hard to keep in touch with those i already had. I think many social media apps began introducing short-form video content and prioritizing it over their usual formats because hooking people to doomscrolling was the only way of keeping them engaged at all lol. There's very little value to be found in social media when everyone is contantly watering themselves down in order to be appealing to the beholder. And finding myself surrounded by these folks, I felt extremely jaded.

Some day, however, I came across a funny looking link in someone's bio. I clicked it, of course. And that was my first ever introduction to neocities. I was barely even aware such a thing could be. Your own website? Free of algorithims? Shady advertisements and privacy policies?? An earnest way to look at other's works?? To find value not only on the art but on the strings of code that host it? Motherfucker, I'm down.

I can't rly begin to explain the positive impact webmastering has had on me. Quitting social media has given me a chance to explore who i am and express that in ways i would've never been able to under their rigid structure. I think of this website as an archive, a journal. I rarely catch myself thinking of the fact that yk. im still being seen. Im just in my lane, and the choice people make to engage with me relies solely on them and how much time they're willing to waste. its not a trap, unlike social media.

As social media blantantly devolves into a fascist machine for propaganda and polarization i just feel glad i quit when i did. There's a certain perspective you gain from seeing it all from a beholder's perspective, as someone who isnt being fed the same algorithmically strawman-ed arguments everyone else in yr circle is. I feel it doesn't take a lot to realize the damage social media is doing. i do feel it takes a lot to care, because it is specifically designed to desensitize you, to make you feel powerless in making you feel that you rely on it to keep yourself informed, to be "awake". you are not any more awake than any other user. Honestly, neither am i. but once you remove yourself from it you really begin to get a feel for how the online culture has permeated every aspect of our lives. How basic online ettiquette and safety has been put to the wayside as people begin to get used to the internet's presence- but it still isnt safe, and it never will be. arguably i feel it is now more dangerous than ever. before the user had a sense of agency over what they consumed online. now it is designed to trap them in echo chambers that will spoon feed them the information they want to hear, that will inform their views in their day to day too. the way social media can radicalize someone is no joke. it is dangerous

social media, in this, has effectively destroyed the concept of community for many people. it is not accidental. an individualist society is one easy to manipulate- just bait them into feeling they don't have bigger threats to actively worry about but their own neighbor (and make them feel like they are the only righteous ones in feeling that way)

there is community to be found online, and neocities exemplifies that for me. granted, i am a bit of an outsider (when have i not been), but it is refreshing to be in an enviroment when you are not constantly poked to engage in in-fighting, to be able to let go of that sense of fight or flight present in every interaction ever on social media.

i think i will leave it at that for now. i will continue to update this as i think of more things to add or expand on or as my viewpoint evolves. im not sure this makes much sense at all lol but ive taken WAY TOO LONG to FINISB TIPING THIS so whatever. go my scarab